Surprise! It's an it!

If you are reading this post then you, like me, have questions. That is normal. I have had about a month to let the news sink in and ask about a million questions. I have also been answering about a million questions. If I am being honest I still don't have all the answers, but I am going to do my best to make sure you are as up to date as I am!

Let's start where it all began! The very first negative pregnancy test. Yes, that's right. The first pregnancy test I took definitely said negative. (which will excuse said behavior later in this adventure...) It is true what they say; you really do just know. The day after the seed was planted, (sorry that is the most politically correct way to put it), I was sitting in my living room watching tv with my little sister and my mom. I looked over at my mom and straight up said "I'm pregnant, I know it." I wish I could tell you what she said to me after that, but I cannot remember. It was absolutely hilarious though because it was something about how terrible that would be for me. I feel the need to let all of you humans know that my mom was just joking guys. She isn't mean.

A few days later it was Wednesday and I went to wing night with my sisters. We were joking about it that night too. I was telling them that there was seriously no way I could be a mom. I was SO SURE that the mom instinct wasn't part of my gene pool. They laughed and agreed with me and we moved on. The next day, at this point its less than a week later, I decided to take a test just to ease my mind. I did the digital one because I needed a hard answer. I sat there staring at it for 3 minutes and FINALLY it said NO. PRAISE. (or so I thought)

I went about my life as normal. I even went on a date a week later! A date where I definitely drank a few glasses of wine. The morning after that date I was dying. We are talking level ten hangover dying and I was confused. I did not drink THAT much. Why did I feel like my body was revolting against me? That feeling continued on for about another week. I felt nauseas, dizzy and genuinely like I was coming down with something. I even told my best friend on the phone that I wanted to be sick already and stop feeling it coming on. Fast forward to the day I found out...

I woke up that morning and I felt off. I was in a weird mood, I was EXHAUSTED, and my boobs hurt more than normal. I was on the phone with my best friend again complaining about all these ailments and she asks me about my period. I started counting. We were mildly sure that I had gotten it the previous month, but I wasn't sure. All of a sudden I could only remember thinking it was late, but I couldn't remember if it had ever showed up. For reference, the week I went on the date I was supposed to be on my period. The morning of the date I remember saying I had stressed about the date so much that my period was late. Either way, the last test I had taken was negative, so I blew it off.

Kina (who is the previously mentioned best friend) and I had plans after work to go sit at the bar at the Green Turtle and drink. This was a weekly plan for us. Half priced apps & buy one get one after 10:00pm. You are welcome. We pull up and she comes out of her car with a pregnancy test in her hand. I rolled my eyes and told her that when this bitch came up negative we were getting drunk and never talking about it again...plot. fucking. twist. That is correct. I found out I was pregnant in a Green Turtle bathroom on my way to drink alcohol. Obviously, I feel as if it goes without saying, but to be clear I did NOT drink alcohol that night. It took 2.5 seconds for that test to pop up positive and i frantically screamed Kina's name. So frantically that she had to yell at me to open the bathroom door. Immediately I had a full blown panic attack. I could not breath. I was literally clinging to her for dear life. It needs to be noted that during my panic attack Kina was smiling, laughing, and telling me congratulations. She's the real MVP of this scenario because she also drove me to the hospital down the street to tell my sister, then to Taco Bell to get a Pepsi, and finally to the Target to pee on 2 more tests.

I am not ashamed that I was holding these tests with pee still on them. That was the least of my worries at the moment, but for the sake of your little hearts obviously I washed my hands. I left Target and as Kina drove me back to my car I was in a daze. I swore that I wasn't going to say a word to Dylan. Not yet. I had already told him I wasn't pregnant. How did I go about telling him that, SURPRISE, I actually am. In the end I was so shaken up that I did call him on my drive home and tell him. We agreed to talk in person later that week and then I walked in my house. At this point Kina, both of my sisters, and one of my other best friends were the only people I had told, other than Dylan. The house was dark and I didn't think waking up my parents to tell them would help anyone.

Although I didn't think waking up my parents would help, I somehow found myself waking my mom up. It was instinctual to me. I was in trouble. I needed support. I needed help. She was my mom. I must have had a look in my eye, or her mom instincts were on point, but she jumped out of bed and I broke. I stood there crying so hard, not being able to breath with my positive tests in my hand and my mom hugging me so hard to calm me down. My little sister had drifted into the room and my dad had woken up. Bless my dads sweet soul. We disturbed his sleep and he still had his ear plugs in so he kept lifting one arm as support. It was adorable and so sweet. I felt calmer instantly because I saw the support right in front of me. These people were scared, but really thought I could do it. The next day I had to go to a super big meeting for work and I swore that everyone who looked at me could tell. They couldn't.

Alright, now onto the the stuff you all really want to know. What did Dylan say?! By the time we were able to link up our schedules to talk in person I had more time to really think about what my future would look like and how I would do this. He didn't have the same luxury because he hadn't heard where I was at with everything. He had A LOT of questions. So there we sat for about three hours going through every scenario of how we could make this work. It wasn't an easy conversation. There were definitely tears, on my end. Don't wanna ruin his street cred. We were not dating the night we made this little blessing and we are not dating now. We both agreed that right now its best to be partners in this and best friends.

We are not without our disagreements, trust me! Usually they happen because my hormones are out of control and I snap. He has been a trooper. He actually does a job in Texas for about 6 months and I promise you he's probably so excited to be away from my hormones. We have been able to handle everything that has come our way because of how open our communication has been. Even when he irritates me I know deep down he has my back. You should have seen us at our first appointment. The doctor was rapid firing information at both of us and we just stood there together looking like a couple of deer in headlights. I didn't feel alone at all. I knew right there that we had this.

We have come a very long way since we first found out. We have told our parents. We have told some of our friends. We have had so many exciting discussions. We had lunch with all of our families together. That was a HUGE success. I know there will be so many more questions that pop up along the way, but right now I know that everything will be okay. We are family. We are committed to being the best co parents that this baby has ever had and being the best little unconventional family there is. I am thankful everyday that I was chosen to be the mommy of this baby and that I am doing this with someone who is not only just as excited as I am, but who is my best friend.