Immediate disclaimers. First disclaimer: I am writing this post at 11:15pm on Sunday after spending an entire weekend drinking at a bachelorette party. Second Disclaimer: This will probably be a few different posts along the way because self discovery is a journey. I will never in any way, shape, or form claim to have completely discovered myself. I am always learning.
Welcome back to Matchmaker Monday. This post is obviously gonna be about self discovery, as promised! This is a journey that some of us are always on. In my last post, which you can read here, I talked a lot about self love. The two go hand in hand, but are definitely not the same! Self love is all about loving yourself for who you are, how God made you, and respecting yourself completely. I believe self love is what leads you to self discovery. The more you learn to love yourself, the more you discover about yourself along the way. What you like, what you don't like, how you love, how you receive love, and etc.
I have had numerous styles and personas throughout my 26 years of life. I went through the preppy phase, the emo phase, the super girly phase, the edgy phase; you get the point. My style always changed based on the people I was friends with at the time. Thinking back it was actually pretty creepy. I was really trying to fit in and it makes sense why none of them felt normal, or like me. I would say it is within the last 3 years that I started to really find my footing, personal style, and things that I like.
I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment that it clicked and I just started being more myself. That might be more helpful for y'all, but I can definitely tell you that it all started happening when I made the very wise decision to concentrate more on myself and less on other people. I was a chronic people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me. I would adjust how I reacted to things, the kind of music I liked, and random other things that would make me seem easy going. To be honest it was weird. I would hear myself saying that I liked something and be thinking "what, no you don't." What a strange lie?
I definitely wasn't sure of myself. I was never confident in my decisions, but a few weeks after putting the focus solely on myself I noticed a change. I started saying no to things, openly telling people when I hated something, and sharing stories about things I truly loved. I felt way more genuine as a person. I was forming opinions on certain subjects and actually arguing these opinions with real passion and factual evidence.
I had been such a "Yes" person for so long that it felt amaze balls to be real and have these debates with people.
I found my voice, my passions, and so much more when I took the time to simply focus on myself. My best advice is to start saying NO. Someone asks you to do something that you feel meh about, say no. If someone invites you to a movie you don't actually wanna see, suggest a different one, or say no. Once you have no down its important to spend a lot of time with yourself. Take yourself out to dinner, to a movie, or spend some time inside doing something you enjoy. Writing/Blogging is what makes me feel happy, bubble baths, quiet space with a good book, and laying in the sun. Even though the sun hates me, I love it. Taking space from everyone and everything by yourself not only helps you learn to be comfortable in your own skin, it also helps you discover things you do, and do not, like.
Do it this week! Set aside some time for yourself and enjoy! Please tell me how it goes and what you did! I will do the same thing!